


Old Habits Die Hard

by Heliocat



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Acceptance, Anal Sex, Angst, Ash Lynx Needs A Hug, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, But He's Still A Bottom, Cute Okumura Eiji, Doubt, First Time, French Kissing, Gay Sex, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, Nipple Play, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Self-Doubt, Sensual Play, Sensuality, Sex, Switch Eiji Okumura, Top Ash Lynx, Trust, Trust Issues, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28694070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliocat/pseuds/Heliocat
Summary: Ash feels he's ready to try sex on his own terms with someone he cares about. He loves and trusts Eiji more than life itself, knowing that the kind Japanese boy would never hurt or use him. With it being Eiji's first time, he knows that this moment would be special and important for both of them - he can't screw this up! But old habits die hard and there's a lot of trauma in his past that proves harder to ignore than he thought.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 18
Kudos: 162





	Old Habits Die Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I... I actually managed to write sex. I mean, it's probably not -good- sex, and this is my first time writing anything like this in... God only knows how many years of reading and writing fanfics, but I did it and am quietly proud of myself. I can now add 'smutty fanfic' to my list of writing achievements. This is porn with feelings though - there's a lot of delicious angst! And many awkward moments with sweet fluff and banter.
> 
> My true headcanon remains that they enjoy a fluffy asexual relationship, but this was interesting to write.
> 
> Based in the timeline somewhere between Ash escaping the facility and Blanca appearing.
> 
> Many thanks to MizukiPerry. She's better at this stuff than I am :P
> 
> Anything written <"like this"> indicates the character is speaking Japanese.
> 
> British English spelling and grammar, just to annoy (sorry, not sorry - I'm English, so it's all I know!)
> 
> Many thanks to Akimi Yoshida for creating Banana Fish - this is a work of fanfiction, so I own none of the intellectual property.

“I think… Yeah. I think I’m ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“You know… _that.”_

“’That’ can be many thing, Ash.”

“To do… _it_ … again.”

“Remember, my English sometimes not so good. I still do not know what you mean.”

“Sex.”

“Oh.”

Ash’s announcement came out of the blue one evening as they both lay in bed preparing for sleep. Eiji was reading quietly in the bed next to him, improving his English slowly by devouring chapter after chapter of easy-read chick lit. It wasn’t Ash’s cup of tea – Eiji’s neither, if he was honest – but the English was easy to read and understand and he could get through a story in a week or two, even with his slow speed, reading a chapter or two before bed every night. During the day, he read the paper, or else he reverted to his mother language and brought imported manga and light novels from a specialist bookstore he’d found in Midtown. It was one of the few places in the city he could find Japanese literature, and was ideally placed roughly 5 mins away from the main library building, so he could go while Ash was in his nerd paradise. Ash had been laying there, watching him read, contemplating thoughts that he’d been mulling over for several weeks, nervously pondering his past experiences and anxiously wondering if he’d ever be ready to take his relationship with Eiji a step further or not.

They didn’t have what you would call a typical relationship anyway, what with Ash’s past trauma, coupled with Eiji’s chaste lack of any obvious libido, despite being remarkably tactile and friendly for a Japanese male. He would gladly provide hugs and comfort, and they would occasionally sleep together, lying next to each other after Ash had a nightmare, or when necessary while travelling, but it had always been innocent. The fact Eiji never asked or wanted for more was one of many reasons Ash loved him – it was nice to know that he could give and receive affection from someone without it necessarily having to lead to ulterior things. However, there were times when he would get a stirring in his loins while spending time with him. He’d notice little things about him that made him feel warm and excited; how fluffy and dishevelled his bed hair was first thing in the morning, soft strands calling out to him to card his fingers through it while kissing his pouted soft pink lips; how sometimes, when he was tidying up, reaching to a high shelf, his shirt would ride up and reveal a sliver of soft olive skin just above his hips, the curve of his spine leading the way down below the waistband of his jeans to a pert set of cheeks just begging to be caressed; after a sudden rainstorm, leaving them both with drenched clothes that clung to their skin, he clearly saw the strong, flexible frame of a former athlete under the near see-through white cotton T-shirt he had been wearing at the time, tweakable little nipples peeking out suggestively. There was no denying that he found Eiji to be, to him anyway, very attractive.

It wasn’t just his body he was tantalised by either. His laugh was cute, his smile lighting up the room with a cheeky happiness that was severely lacking in his life otherwise. He found joy in little things, saw the beauty in the darkness, and his eyes were just so… warm. They looked at him with nothing but love and tender care, occasionally spliced with a gleam of mischief or curiosity. There was none of the possessive darkness or obsession he was used to; neither was there the sharp sting of hatred, the harsh judging of disgust or distain, the disconcerting shine of fear or awe, or the misty woe of pity that most people looked upon him with. The worst he ever got was bright, doe-eyed, apologetic sadness when he felt like he’d done something wrong or if Ash told him something particularly distressing, or else the occasional flash of mild annoyance when he was being ribbed or Ash did something he didn’t approve of but, even then, there was never any malice to be seen. Besides, teasing him was fun – he was adorable when he was angry, like a grumpy rabbit, growling and stamping his feet but posing little to no threat at all. As his English improved and he started to pick up slang terminology and innuendo, so did his banter, and he could now give almost as good as he received. He was smart too, not to the same genius-level Ash himself was, but Eiji was able to think on his feet and was brave enough to act, often recklessly, in situations where Ash would hesitate. While this was dangerous and could often be deemed foolish in the underworld, it would have the desired effect of taking people by surprise and would buy time or create disruption. Although he would get very scared, he kept a cool head in adversity and trusted his gut, whereas Ash had a tendency to panic or become enraged and just start shooting once all his plans failed or if he found himself cornered, or else he would surrender himself to his fate to spare others. From experience, he always tried to plan ahead for every possibility, so as to never be caught out, his mind hard-wired to seek solutions and logical conclusions like a chess master, giving the illusion that he was always in control of things. Eiji, however, proved to be a steadfast rock when everything around him was falling apart, and his calm straightforwardness complimented and soothed Ash’s more neurotic personality.

The biggest thing Ash found attractive, though, was Eiji’s heart. He was empathetic and understanding, as well as generous and kind. He would listen with a sympathetic ear, and always knew just how to comfort him. A warm hug here, some kind words of wisdom there, a light touch of the arm or shoulder to reassure and ground him when out and about, silently bringing him a cup of tea and a snack when he got engrossed in his own thoughts in the apartment. He quickly learned his favourite foods and would make them for him to cheer him up, and quite often when he was out with Kong and Bones he would come back with some affordable little trinket or treat for him, like a cute mug for his morning coffee, a soft woollen scarf when it started to get colder, or a leather bookmark with a cat stamped on it, nothing too big or showy, just nice little things to show he was thinking of him and knew what he liked. He could read his moods pretty accurately too, and always seemed to know when he needed a little extra attention or affection, when he could get away with teasing him and getting him to act more his age for once, and when to just leave him alone. Even with others, Eiji was undeniably forgiving and sweet, tending to see the good in people where possible. He didn’t like fighting unless necessary, and lacked any sort of killer instinct at all. Ash was keen to preserve this side of him where he could.

In fact, the only time Eiji was willingly violent was when he had to wake him up in the morning. Ash could sleep through world war three given half a chance, and Eiji had figured out pretty quickly that the quickest, easiest, and safest way to get him out of bed was to smack him through the covers or else physically drag him out. If you used the softly-softly approach of light shaking or gentle whispers, you were likely to get a faceful of irritated, sleepy Lynx claws. Show him who’s boss and dump him on the floor, and you tended to have more success.

Ash’s feelings for him ticked all the necessary boxes, plus many more besides. He was attracted to Eiji both physically and mentally, loved practically every atom of his being from the very depths of his heart, and he knew that Eiji would never hurt him intentionally or do anything he wasn’t comfortable with. They’d known each other a while now, and had established a deep trust with each other far beyond that of most couples. They just seemed to fit together perfectly, two halves of the same whole, opposites attracting as their souls vibrated to the same wavelength despite clashing backgrounds and cultures. Things would be different with him, he knew that for a fact. After much quiet, personal contemplation (which Eiji had voiced concern about – he intuitively picked up on even the smallest shifts in emotion) he had decided that he shouldn’t let his past get in the way of his future. He was ready to try sex on his terms because he wanted it with someone he loved.

“I’m going to be honest, Eiji – you’re fucking hot and, if you’re okay with it, I would like to take what we have a stage further,” Ash said bluntly, causing Eiji to suddenly flush a furious shade of magenta. That was a good sign, at least. Ash had decided it was probably best to be honest and open with him so he could understand, and he would then gauge his reaction and receptiveness to the idea. That he was getting flustered and embarrassed rather than avoiding the issue or getting annoyed was indication that he felt similarly.

“You blind,” he muttered, putting his book aside for the night. “I not ‘hot’. Compared to you, I am very plain.”

“Modest too,” Ash responded with a smirk. “Plus, you just admitted you find me attractive!”

“What? No, I did not! I just state fact! I am plain compared to anyone!” He blushed more, his entire face burning with embarrassment. “Also, I not even realise we were dating! When did that happen? Do people not tell each other in America that they now dating? Or is it different when two men?”

“That’s so sweet - I say I want sex and the first thing you’re concerned about is whether we’re an item or not, like it matters.”

“It DOES matter!”

“You’re adorable!”

“Aurgh – nooo!”

“Don’t hide behind your hands, I wanna see you get all flustered and cute!”

“Aaaaaaash…”

“We can make it official, if you want,” Ash said light-heartedly. “You want me to call you ‘Babe’ or ‘Hun’?”

“Neither. It weird!” Eiji told him.

“How about ‘Onii-chan’? You always seem to like that!”

“Definitely not!”

Ash laughed at him, a genuine giggle of affection.

“It’s official. I think it’s been official a while. I know I’ve loved you for a long time now… We can't tell anyone though. It's too dangerous.”

“Ash…?”

“And you think I don’t know that you jerk off while thinking of me?” Ash continued, teasing him. He flinched at that, his previous embarrassment now tainted with guilt.

“I not like the others, I swear!” he hastily denied, looking mortified. He didn’t realise Ash knew about that! It had only happened once or twice, but each time his fantasies had been consensual and vague. “I would never… Never see you as just… And I would never… Without… But… I…”

“Hey! Woah! It’s alright! You don’t need to justify _that –_ it’s natural to think of the one you like when you pleasure yourself! I’m honoured!”

<”I’m sorry…”> he mumbled. “It not happen often. But sometimes…”

“If it helps, I think of you when I release a little tension. Frequently. It’s the only thing I can think of without feeling shame or disgust at myself.”

Eiji didn’t reply to that, but he did stare at him with a weird understanding. It appeared both of them had been longing for this moment for a considerable length of time, merely hiding away their urges to spare the feelings of the other. Eiji had the added burden of Ash’s past to consider too; in the end, it didn’t matter what he wanted, if what he wanted may in any way hurt Ash further. Ash needed someone to be there for him and support him, not yet another person who just wanted to fuck him, and that’s not what Eiji wanted to do at all. He wanted to _make love_ to him. Besides, he valued the relationship they already had more than he did the need to do… whatever that fantasy in his dirtiest dreams was. Being new to sex and attraction, he didn’t really know what exactly it was he wanted anyway. He may be older than Ash, but he was still very coy and not especially knowledgeable about these matters, only just beginning to discover himself and his wants and desires. He just knew Ash made him feel fluttery sometimes, hearing his deep voice say his name with a protective fondness or seeing his sharp green eyes soften when they flicked over to him from across the room. Once you chipped past his hard shell, that automatic self-defence cloak of sarcasm and personal distance that kept people at bay, Ash was a genuinely kind and likeable person, fiercely loyal and protective, who liked to tease and had a real gentleness to him that rarely came across, and who felt so much remorse and anguish and fear over the things he had done – had been made to do – that it prompted Eiji to want to protect him emotionally, even if he couldn’t do so physically. He was so incredibly lonely in a tragic way that made Eiji want to just snatch him up and run away with him, take him somewhere, anywhere, away from the awful life he led. He wanted to show Ash that the life he was so disillusioned with really was worth living, and that not everyone was trying to use and abuse him. He wanted him to be happy, and if he was the reason for that happiness, then all the better.

“I’m guessing… You’re a first-timer?”

“Huh?”

“A virgin. I was your first kiss, right? That time in jail? Be a little weird if you’d had sex before kissing in most circumstances. I don’t count myself as normal.”

“Oh. Yes. I have not been with anyone, boy or girl. I have never really been in relationship before.”

“Do you think… Maybe… You’re ready? With me, I mean?”

Eiji was quiet for quite a while, but the expression on his face was thoughtful and contemplative with just a hint of bashfulness, rather than disgusted or negative. The question had been loaded, with a lot to unpack and consider. He found Ash attractive and there was no doubt about his love for the Lynx, but until now he’d never really considered taking things further outside of his imagination. For one thing, it would mean his first time would be with a man and not a woman, so everything he knew about sex and pleasure from the meagre classes on sex-ed and from what his parents had told him would be completely different from the actual act. For another, Ash was significantly more experienced than he was, albeit for all the wrong reasons, and he worried that he may not be good enough for him, or would do something wrong. Ash was more fragile than people thought he was too, so this event wouldn’t just be a big thing for him losing his virginity; it would be a massive step for Ash too, finally opening up and trusting someone enough to try physical relations again. Sometimes, just touching him proved difficult, never mind screwing him. He eventually gave an honest answer, which Ash translated to a soft yes.

“Maybe…” he murmured quietly, looking down at his hands on the bedspread over his knees.

“Let’s leave things for now,” Ash said kindly. “When we… ‘Do it’… I want it to be when we’re both ready and in the mood. I just wanted to let you know that… I’m ready when you are, if you ever want to take it further.”

“I think that good plan,” Eiji nodded.

***

Ash had come home in a good mood.

Things had gone especially well on the streets today, and he’d secured some new alliances with the Vietnamese which worked to not only protect his boys, but also calmed some of the tensions between them and Chinatown because they now had a common ally. Sing would be ecstatic when he found out; they may be at odds at the moment, but he was still an ally, and the little Cantonese teen had been worried for weeks that he was going to have to fight Chi Dung Nguyen after he and his boys had butted heads numerous times. He’d then had a celebratory lunch with Alex, the two of them discussing further plans for the gang’s future as they sat in Bryant’s park eating hot dogs, and he’d been able to firmly set some contingency plans in place should anything happen to him in the coming months. The icing on the cake was that whoever had kept that book out about the modern political history of Colombia for the last year had finally – finally – brought it back to the library, and he’d been able to read the chapter he was interested in. He could now finish his personal essay on the subject, having filled in the gaps in his knowledge. He returned to the apartment that evening feeling really satisfied, that happiness only increasing when he saw that Eiji had made him a shrimp and avocado salad for dinner.

“I did not feel like cooking today,” he explained, looking a little ashamed of himself for just chopping up some vegetables and tipping some pre-cooked shrimp into it. He was washing up after dinner while Ash sat on the sofa watching him work. “I clean apartment thoroughly while you gone. I got rid of mould in bathroom and I dust all shelves and vacuum the carpet. I even change bed sheet – been very busy!”

“I should buy you a maid’s outfit,” Ash teased him, smirking. “That way, you’d look the part!”

“Hmmph…”

“I’m sorry! I wouldn’t do something that mean to you,” he snickered, while also thinking that seeing Eiji in a mini-skirt would probably leave him reeling. The thought of seeing his strong legs extending out from underneath the frills, maybe a garter hugging one of his thighs, a bow on his back like a present waiting to be unwrapped…

“I hope not!”

“It’d be a butler’s outfit instead.”

“ASH!”

“You’d look great in a tailcoat! Get you a nice tailored vest, black tie, and a pair of white gloves to match. You could call me ‘Young Master’ when I came home…”

“There no way I call you ‘Master’! Not in month of Mondays!”

“…And I’ll get you some silverware to polish!”

“Now you just being silly – why we need silverware?”

“So you can polish it.”

“Fuck that!”

“Hey, when did you learn that word? Has Bones been teaching you swear words again?”

“I not that sheltered, Ash!”

“I know. What was one of the first things you shouted at me, apart from ‘please let me hold your gun’ and ‘thanks for saving me’? ‘I know there no fucking mat on other side’, wasn’t it? And then you tried to kill yourself!”

<”Argh! Why do I stay here with you? Gods, please spare me from this annoying bastard before I kill him!”>

“Don’t switch to Japanese on me, Eiji – I was enjoying this back and forth we had going!”

<”Idiot!”>

“Alright, alright! I’m sorry!” he smirked, not really sorry at all. “If you come over here, I’ve got something for you to apologise!”

<”I bet you don’t have anything…”> Eiji mumbled, but he dried his hands and came closer nonetheless.

“Closer than that!” Ash told him, his eyes sparkling.

“How much closer need to be?” Eiji frowned. He could be remarkably naïve sometimes.

“Muuuuuuuch closer!” Ash said. “Come sit next to me, and I’ll show you what I’ve got.”

“Fine.”

Eiji flopped down next to him. Ash noted fondly that he groaned slightly as he sat down, like a weary old man, and he still looked endearingly annoyed from his teasing, his cheeks just slightly pink with exasperation. 

“Aww, is that as close as you can get?”

“If I get any closer, I be sat in lap!” Eiji told him.

 _‘That wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing,’_ Ash thought, but he kept the thought to himself. Eiji was now close enough that Ash could smell the soft aroma of clean linen that seemed to cling enticingly to him, coupled with a slightly grassy, floral scent that reminded him of summer fields. Everyone smelled of something, the scents of the products you use or the nature of your work or daily activity sticking to you, mingling with your natural odour. Eiji didn’t wear perfume, so his signature scent was that of fabric softener and clean living; a light, pleasant fragrance, not overwhelming like a cologne, invoking feelings of calm when it wafted around you. Ash found it intoxicating.

“What did you want to show… me…” Eiji looked down as he felt Ash’s hand gently brush his knee. His heart seemed to skip a beat before it started to flitter wildly, palpitating in his chest at the contact.

“I never really thank you for everything you do for me,” Ash said softly, leaning over, his face getting closer and closer to Eiji’s. He gently placed his fingers under Eiji’s chin, directing him to look up from the hand lightly caressing his lower thigh, nervous brown eyes meeting intense green that were now just inches from him. “Now we’re official, I just wanted to show you my appreciation.”

“Ash…”

Ash felt him stiffen as their lips met. For a panicked moment, he feared maybe he’d moved too fast and had been too forward in his advances. Eiji had frozen in confused fear in prison too, like a deer in headlights as Ash Frenched him and fondled his ass, taken by surprise but understanding the urgency the moment he felt the pill capsule slipped into his mouth. This time there was no secret message, no desperate necessity. If he didn’t respond, Ash would pull away and apologise. Thankfully, to his relief, Eiji very quickly relaxed once he understood what was going on, closing his eyes and allowing him to take the lead wherever his ‘appreciation’ would take them.

For someone who was clearly inexperienced, he was a pretty good kisser, Ash mused. He seemed to instinctively move in synchronicity with him. Ash moved his hand from his chin to gently stroke his soft hair, his other hand sliding up his thigh as it chased its way higher towards his hips. Eiji seemed a little uncertain what to do with his own hands, but he felt the warm palm of one of them come to rest on his chest, just above his heart, fingers curled lightly into his shirt fabric. Reluctantly, he pulled away slightly, earning himself a reassuring gasp of want from Eiji.

“I should really thank you more often,” he whispered.

“It nice, be thanked sometimes,” Eiji smiled, their foreheads touching

“How about I thank you more somewhere more comfortable?” Ash suggested, his tone low and carnal, a rumbling purr.

“Now?”

“It’s as good a time as any,” Ash reasoned. He sensed the intense ripple of nervousness course through Eiji, a shiver of trepidation that threatened to end this before it even got started. “Only if you want to…?”

“…Okay…”

“We’ll take it slow, yeah?” Ash reassured him, kissing him again gently before standing and offering his hand. Eiji took it in a loose grip and allowed him to lead him through to the bedroom.

***

It became blatantly obvious that Eiji was new to this the moment they got there. He sat on the edge of his bed nervously, Ash besides him, finding sustaining eye contact difficult. It was probably the first time Ash had ever seen him completely at a loss for what to do, out of his depth and just waiting for a prompt or direction. He gave him a look that plainly said ‘what now?’

“Heh, you look like a lost puppy,” Ash told him fondly, trying to break the tension.

Eiji whined, embarrassed at the comparison, and mumbled, “This all new to me. I do not know how to start.”

“How about we just pick up from where we left off and see how far it takes us?” Ash said coquettishly, leaning over and lightly caressing his cheek reassuringly. Eiji gladly allowed himself to be drawn back into a kiss, Ash directing his face to his own and connecting their lips gently. With a little bit of wriggling and manoeuvring, they were able to find a more comfortable position on the bed, Ash refreshingly finding himself in the dominant position for once. He felt a surge of adrenaline, sat confidently between Eiji’s thighs, leaning into and over him, one of his hands supporting the back of his neck, the other resting somewhere near his waist. He experimented with his tongue, gently parting his lips and teasing Eiji’s lower lip with the tip, Eiji receptive to his plea for entry, allowing him to explore his mouth. Eiji seemed to be a bit of a natural when it came to a good kiss, his tongue automatically moving in a sensual dance with his own, not trying to take charge or force its way in, but just taking his cues from Ash and either copying or complimenting his own movements. He tasted just faintly of mint toothpaste, but he also had an indescribable sweet taste all of his own. Ash decided he could probably kiss him all day and never get bored, but after a minute or two Eiji’s inexperience caught up with him, and he had to break away slightly to breathe. Ash gently nibbled at his lower lip playfully, letting him gasp in a lungful of air before they continued.

He felt Eiji’s hands snake coyly around him, gripping at his shirt over his shoulder blades, and he shuddered pleasurably feeling his fingers lightly graze his skin through the cotton. He had the sudden urge to remove the T-shirt, so as to feel Eiji’s warmth against his bare skin, but he resisted for now, instead choosing to stay in the moment, moaning quietly into Eiji’s mouth instead.

 ** _‘Don’t be a whore…’_** a dark voice from the back of his mind reprimanded him.

The next time Eiji needed to come up for air, Ash pulled away from him, delighting in seeing him flushed and cute from his administrations, his hair mussed and eyes glassy, lips swollen and pink. He moved his attention from his mouth to his chin, pecking tiny butterfly kisses along his jaw down towards his neck. He apparently tickled an especially sensitive spot, because he flinched with a tiny gasp of pleasure when he brushed his lips along his sternocleidomastoid, mouthing the column of his neck from under his ear to his collar.

“Are you sensitive here?” he tittered, kissing it again and feeling Eiji squirm slightly.

“Tickles…” he murmured, fisting the fabric on his shirt tightly.

“Oh? What if I…” he gently sucked on the area, earning himself a delighted choke of surprise from Eiji.

“Wait! No!” Eiji gasped.

“No?” Ash immediately pulled away.

“It will leave mark! People will see!” Eiji said, blushing.

“Maybe I want them to see,” he said, nuzzling the area suggestively.

 _ **‘Possessive little bitch…’**_ the voice in his head growled warningly.

“Ash!”

“Alright, I hear ya,” he purred, switching back to gentle feather kisses along the muscle. Eiji responded favourably to this, so he allowed his hands to start wandering, leaning in and slowly caressing his fingers down Eiji’s chest, and then back up underneath his shirt, lightly brushing over his abs, still athletically toned despite a couple of years off the field, the ghost of a six-pack noticeable under a soft, thin layer of fat allowed to develop over the smooth muscle. He imagined even in his prime, Eiji probably hadn’t been meathead buff, sculpted with the muscles of a Greek hero, but he would have been delicately strong, flexible like a gymnast, everything in proportion. Ash wasn’t a huge fan of solid muscle anyway, but Eiji seemed to have just the perfect amount for him, noticeable, but subtle, as he ran his hand over his stomach. He began driving his hand slowly upwards towards Eiji’s chest, pushing his shirt up with it. “Can we take this off?” he breathed, asking permission.

“Hmm…” Eiji said affirmatively, helping Ash as he pulled the offending item of clothing off him, throwing it on the floor. He immediately became uncharacteristically shy afterwards, unconsciously trying to cover himself with his arms. It wasn’t that Ash had never seen him shirtless before, but the situation was different from sunbathing on the beach at the Cape, and he found himself feeling exposed and vulnerable. The last time he’d been in this position, naked in a bed… Eiji pushed that awful event to the back of his mind. In the end, nothing had happened, and things were very different this time. He didn’t struggle or feel like he needed to escape, and he wasn’t constrained in any way. He wanted to be here. The anxiety he felt right now was a good one, excitement swirled with a fear of the unknown and a desire to find out.

“Anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?” Ash asked him truthfully, scanning him up and down appreciatively. The possibilities of what he could do right now… endless fantasies of sensual touch, taste, smell, watching and listening to the cries and moans of pleasure as he teased him softly, his virgin body unused to the stimulus and likely sensitive to all these new and unfamiliar sensations. Playing with newbies was always interesting, finding out what they liked, eking out the secrets of their body that even they likely didn’t know…

 ** _‘That’s what they used to tell you all the time… then they’d do exactly what you’re thinking…_** _’_ the voice reminded him, tainting the sentiment.

“You lie,” Eiji said, blushing and turning his face away, clearly not used to compliments. “I not as… as beautiful… as…”

“Shh… don’t finish that sentence,” Ash shushed him. “You’re beautiful to me, that’s all that matters.”

Eiji whined, an oddly happy-sounding little noise, as Ash turned his face back to his own so he could kiss him again. Eiji, however, stopped him before he could reinstate the kiss, a single hand annoyingly stopping him from reaching his lips.

“Can we make things even?” Eiji asked shyly, reaching out to tug lightly at the front of Ash’s shirt, eyes wide and curious. “I want to see you too. Please?”

Ash didn’t need asking twice. It was the first time anyone had ever a _sked_ him to do something, instead of just forcing him. That alone sent a jolt of heat and excitement through him, his heart swelling with affection and his dick twitching with desire, slowly starting to rise to attention in his jeans. The way Eiji was staring up at him, his large eyes seeming to sparkle like a galaxy of stars, nervous but needy, only enhanced his feelings further. Fumbling a little in his haste, he dragged his shirt over his head and tossed it aside.

“Better?” he smirked. Eiji nodded, smiling slightly and allowing him to kiss him again. Now shirtless, Ash could feel his hands upon him as they drew him into a warm embrace, soft palms radiating gentle heat into his upper back. There was nothing possessive in his grip at all, only tenderness and care. He wanted them on him, wanted to feel the kindness in his touch, craved having someone touch him who wasn’t in it for some perverted fantasy or control trip. He wanted to respond to that touch willingly for once, not be forced to writhe under it uncomfortably while his body was made to dance for them like a puppet. It may take a bit of encouragement on his part to get Eiji doing more than just holding him though, as nice as that was. He’d never done this before, and he could tell he was being tentative. Maybe if he took the lead and gave him some ideas, got him curious…

Slowly, so as not to be forceful, he guided Eiji back onto the pillows, kissing him sensually all the while. Carefully, testing the waters and giving Eiji a chance to deny him if he wanted, he started letting his hands wander over his naked torso, tracing lines with his fingers along the slight grooves and divots, feeling his breath hitch as he smoothed a hand over one of his pecs. Fingertips found a sensitive nipple, and rubbing a lazy ring around the areola incited a juddering sigh to escape Eiji, his whole body tensing, fidgeting his legs as it became more and more obvious he was aroused.

 ** _‘You like your nipples rubbed too, you dirty fag…’_** the voice reminded him. He almost stopped with his teasing, but seeing that Eiji wasn’t complaining or trying to push him away reassured him. On the contrary, Ash felt his hands contract against his back in pleasure, his nails lightly digging in as they involuntarily formed claws.

“You like that, huh?” he said breathily, voice low and velvety. He kissed Eiji on his neck again, just under his ear, as he playfully pinched the soft nub of his nipple, causing him to hiss something throatily in Japanese.

<”Oh Gods, why does that feel good?”>

“English, Eiji, please…” Ash requested, pinching again and pulling slightly.

“Haa…aaaaah… Ash…” His back arched and he wriggled uncomfortably, a fluttering, hot sensation building in his groin. His hands slowly slid down from Ash’s shoulders to his ribs, his nails scratching delicately, tickling him and making him giggle as he nosed into Eiji’s clavicle.

“It’s cute, how worked up you are over a bit of nipple tweaking,” he tittered, amused.

“S…sensitive!” Eiji stuttered, his hands leaving Ash’s back to touch the little erect bumps on his chest for himself, his voice high with a child-like wonder. “Wh…why though?”

“Mine are too…” he whispered, sitting up slightly so he was straddling Eiji.

“Can I…?” He held his hand out, hovering just over his chest. Ash gently took hold of his wrist and pressed his hand against his pectorals, inviting him to touch, shuddering with a barely controlled moan as Eiji honed in on the sensitive parts. “S…soft,” Eiji murmured, running a fingertip over the fine blonde hairs, so pale they were practically invisible, growing around the dark patch of skin.

“Oh God…” Ash gasped, feeling his warm digits pressing against him gently, sparks igniting in their wake. Eiji pulled away at his strangled exclamation, but Ash pulled his hand back into place, encouraging him to continue. “It’s okay… don’t stop!”

**_‘Dirty bastard…’_ **

Cautiously, Eiji returned his hand to Ash’s chest, feeling him shiver under his caress. Curious, having never really felt anyone besides himself closely before, he stroked his hands over Ash’s chest and down to his stomach, finding his entire body to be far softer than he imagined it being, pale skin smooth and silky beneath his fingers. He had a couple of scars, most old, pale silvery lines marring his otherwise unblemished skin, a couple new and pink, like the remains of the stab wound Arthur had left behind, that he sympathetically brushed.

“You’re so gentle,” Ash told him smiling. “I’d have thought you’d have been way rougher, judging by your first aid skills.”

Eiji pulled away from him at that remark, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Excuse me for being Japanese klutz!” he huffed. “I cannot help if delicate American break so easily! Always need first aid - so many scar!”

“I know, I know,” he murmured, leaning back in and running a hand through Eiji’s hair to soothe him. “Japanese klutz does his best, and that’s what I love about him.”

“Mmm…” he melted at the touch, tingles chasing their way down his spine as they kissed again. Ash’s other hand this time found its way south, finding the button of Eiji’s jeans and tugging the zip of the fly open. Eiji flinched at this. “Do you want me to…?” he raised his hips up off the bed, allowing Ash to slide his jeans off him. After a little bit of wriggling and some gentle persuasion, the denim trousers shortly joined his shirt on the floor, leaving him in just his plain white underpants and a pair of bright, comical socks with Norinori on them. Ash smiled affectionately at the familiar little cartoon bird printed repeatedly all over the socks; childish and quaint, they were just so suitably Eiji.

“Cute socks!” he sniggered, starting to strip himself of his own jeans, kicking them aside, one of the legs inside out. Now only confined behind thin cotton, his erection became more obvious, a damp patch slowly forming at the apex, the already dark fabric discolouring noticeably. Eiji was in a similar state, a tent firmly pitched in his underpants, a happy trail of dark hair leading the way from his belly button and disappearing underneath the waistband enticingly.

“You only jealous you do not have cute socks too,” Eiji said, wiggling his toes. “You want take them off as well?”

“No, leave them on,” Ash smirked, leaning back in and running a hand down Eiji’s thigh as he did so, eliciting a strange squeaky gasp from him as he smoothed a hand over the strong leg. “I like ‘em!” he added, before pecking another kiss on his cheek playfully.

“Th…they not exactly street fashion…” Eiji giggled.

“I dunno… I hear they’re all the rage in Harajuku,” Ash whispered, distracting Eiji with his words while he slipped his fingers under the waistband of his briefs.

“How you know Hara-JU-ku!?” Eiji squealed the penultimate syllable feeling Ash’s hands suddenly very close to his butt, one on each hip under his briefs, massaging the flesh there in gentle circles.

“I read papers. Magazines. Shorter had a porno of all these girls in frilly Lolita dresses. All sorts of places…” Ash said, continuing to rub and starting to open-mouth kiss him along his collarbone. Eiji apparently liked this, because he moaned, arching his back and allowing Ash better access to his booty. He took advantage, sliding down and squeezing each cheek lightly. “Firmer than I expected,” he quipped, humour in his tone as he kneaded each globe.

“Nggh… Athlete ass,” Eiji reasoned.

“Very nice ass, is what it is…” Ash purred into his neck. “The question now is… do you want me to fuck it… or do you want to fuck me?”

Eiji honestly hadn’t considered that. He knew sex with another man would be different to what scant information he had learned prior to this moment, which was ‘the penis goes in the vagina’. Neither of them had a vagina, but they both had dicks, and he wasn’t sure if he was quite ready for anal on his first experience. Ash had never been given the choice… should he let him take the lead on this?

“I… haaahhhh…!” He panted wantonly, feeling Ash slide his briefs down his thighs in one smooth motion.

“Oh, someone’s happy to see me,” Ash greeted his penis with a wry enthusiasm. “Hey there, little cutie!”

<”S…stop teasing me!”> Eiji stuttered in Japanese, embarrassed again.

“So… top or bottom?”

<”I don’t know!”>

“I don’t understand you, Eiji, you’ll need to translate.”

“It my first time… so, I do not know… what like most yet,” Eiji whined.

“Well, if you don’t mind me taking charge, I have an idea…” Ash said breathily. “You’ll have to be a little patient… It’ll take me a couple of minutes to prepare myself…” He leaned over Eiji to the bedside table, opening the drawer and fumbling around inside blindly. He eventually found what he was looking for; a condom, and a small bottle of lube. Setting the condom aside for now, he held the lube bottle in one hand while pulling his own briefs down with his other, shucking them off his ankles. He felt Eiji stiffen slightly as he nervously eyed Ash’s erection.

“You are blonde!” he gasped, a small but delighted cheeky smile tweaking the corners of his mouth in amusement. “You said you were!”

“No shit,” Ash smirked back. “You didn’t believe me when I said the curtains matched the drapes?”

**_‘You called him a pervert, when he was just curious…’_ **

“It lacks hood…” Eiji murmured, observantly. Ash blushed slightly, bashful that he was looking so closely and critically at his junk.

“I was circumcised as a kid,” he muttered. “It’s pretty common over here. Still works fine, don’t you worry.” He took the lid off the lube bottle and squeezed a generous helping over his fingers, rubbing the sticky liquid over them with his thumb. He reached behind himself, smoothing the lube around his rim before gently inserting one finger into his anus with a controlled gasp.

“Ash… what are you doing?” Eiji asked him curiously.

“When you… nrgh… take it in the ass… you have less chance of it… ah… hurting… if you finger yourself a bit to stretch it open… haaaah… first!”

“Are you…?”

“I’m fingering my ass for you,” he explained in a sultry voice, inserting a second finger, breath hitching as he clenched and then gradually relaxed into the stretch. It had been a while since he’d had to do this. He’d figured out how to do it at the club after one of the older kids advised he try it. A lot of clients either couldn’t be bothered or didn’t care about the welfare of the merchandise, and would skip this important step favouring a tight hole that they could tear into, leading to pain and fissures. He learned that it was wise to prepare yourself prior to seeing your John; you may get called out for being a slut, but it was preferable to bleeding and struggling to use the toilet for days on end afterwards. He supposed he could ask Eiji to do this for him, but he just looked so confused and curious. For his first experience, Ash figured it would be for the best if he dealt with the technicalities. He began to slowly scissor his fingers, forcing himself open, shivering in anticipation.

**_‘You just love getting fucked in the ass, don’t you, you slut…’_ **

“Sh…should I try…?” Eiji shakily reached out for his cock, offering to give him an inexperienced hand job with good intentions. An unpleasant feeling washed over him; having someone else touch him there, even Eiji, brought the harsh taste of bile to the back of his throat. He thought he’d be ready, had convinced himself that it would be fine, had fantasised about Eiji touching him multiple times, but apparently it was going to take him longer to be completely ready for that. Ash pushed his hand away, trying not to show the sudden flash of unease that crossed his mind on his face, but the look Eiji gave him said he’d noticed it anyway.

“No… Eiji, don’t worry.”

“B…but this seem… so one-sided.”

“Don’t think that… hauuugghh… way,” he assured him. He shuddered slightly as he hit his own prostate with his fingers, curling them inside him and then adding a third. “I prefer this way.”

“But-“

“It’s your first time, and I’m the expert here. Just let me make you feel good!”

 ** _‘Yeah, that’s it. Use your vulgar whore voice on him like a cheap floozy, you shameless hussy…’_** He shook his head slightly, trying to shut the voice up. He hadn’t meant to word it like that, but it had come out sounding very suggestive and just a tad aggressive too; the same tone he used when he was trying to seduce people to get what he wanted.

“Ash…?”

“It’s rare I get to be on top. This way, I can control the depth and speed so it’s good for us both.”

**_‘Good plan, Aslan - remind him you’re nothing more than a heavily used fleshlight before you ride his dick…’_ **

“O…only if you… okay with just that…” Again, that concerned checking in of his welfare and wants, eyes full of trust and kindness seeming to stare into his damaged soul. He finished fingering himself, sighing contentedly as he pulled his fingers out.

“I know I want you inside me,” he growled, voice low and gravelly. He grabbed the condom, tearing off the wrapper with his teeth. “I’m going to put this on you… that okay? Or do you want to put it on yourself?”

“Y…you can…” Eiji panted nervously. He groaned when Ash touched him, writhing slightly at the sensation as he rolled the condom firmly down his shaft.

“We play safe this time, yeah?” Ash told him. This was for Eiji’s sake more than his own. People usually just rawed him and would laugh if he asked them to use protection. He hadn’t been checked for STIs for a little while, and while he hadn’t been hustling with all and sundry for a quick buck for several months, he’d still experienced rape and abuse in the recent past. Dino was probably clean of most nasties, what with all his doctors on hand and him being very particular about who he fucked, but Garvey and the other bastards who gang banged him in jail were another matter. He’d been meaning to go get tested for a while, but with his hectic schedule he hadn’t found the time. He hadn’t shown any symptoms, so he was probably fine, but the last thing he wanted to do was give Eiji chlamydia or worse.

“You’re not quite there yet,” Ash told him, wrapping a hand around his cock. “It needs to be just a bit… there we go!” A couple of firm, adept pumps and Eiji stiffened considerably, mewling crudely in surprise at the sensation of someone else touching him. One of his hands shot up, grabbing Ash’s arm desperately in a secure grip. “Relax!” Ash said quietly, pouring more lube over Eiji’s now raging hard-on. “I’m going to make you feel soooooo gooooood!”

**_‘They’d tell you that too, before they absolutely destroyed your asshole…’_ **

“Ash… I kind of nervous now…”

“I’ll go slow, alright?”

“Hmm.” Eiji gave a tiny nod, his eyes wide and anxious, but full of trust and love.

“I’m… going to start now…” Ash told him, and lowered himself carefully down onto his boyfriend’s waiting cock, gritting his teeth with a barely stifled moan as he felt it penetrate deeper and deeper inside him, the sensation of fullness in his abdomen leaving him breathless. Eiji gasped with him, the alien sensation of his dick being swallowed by something tight and hot enveloping him in blissful sin.

<”Oh Gods!”> Eiji rasped, grabbing the bedsheet underneath himself tightly in a closed fist, his other still gripping Ash’s arm.

“Hnnngh… Eiji, you’re bigger than I thought!” Ash told him appraisingly. “How does it feel, knowing you’re inside me?”

He didn’t receive a coherent reply. Eiji didn’t seem capable of forming a sentence in English or Japanese right now. He could still nod or shake his head to communicate, but words were lost to him. He choked on various lewd sounds, almost forgetting how to breathe as Ash started moving slowly up and down, rocking slightly with every thrust so as to force Eiji’s shaft against his own erogenous zones with an obscene moan, getting progressively faster, bouncing up and down as he rode Eiji’s cock with an expert tempo.

“A…A…Ashu!” Eiji finally managed to cry out his name, his accent thick with lust, eyes rolling as he bucked his hips. Ash could feel him spasming under and inside him, the hand on his arm now white knuckled as if clinging onto his sanity. Not used to this much stimulation, Eiji was brought to the brink of orgasm in record time, Ash trailing along right besides him lost in the rhythm and carnal delights they were sharing. Ash glanced down, wanting to see his boyfriend’s head thrown back on the pillows in ecstasy as he thoroughly enjoyed his virginity being taken, his face sweaty and flushed, his hair a dishevelled mess… maybe he could kiss him again, or try sucking on his earlobe, really drive him over the edge…

They made eye contact.

**_‘Fuck, his eyes… Blank emptiness. He’s just like them!’_ **

Ash froze, an icy sensation forming in his gut, immediately followed by an immense weight of guilt and shame. How could he think that way, even consider the slightest iota that Eiji – _his_ Eiji – was anything like any of those sick paedophiles! He’d been the one to start this. It was unfair of him to tar Eiji with that brush – everyone’s mind empties with the pleasure of orgasm, and Eiji would be no exception to that. It wasn’t that Eiji wasn’t feeling love and care for him – quite the opposite, he was probably feeling _everything_ all at once, his brain frying with the hormonal and emotional overload, and on second glance his brown eyes were not the void-like pits of someone lustily seeking power, but the blank slates of someone in the throes of sensual desire. However, that terrible thought had already entered his brain and done its damage, as it pushed aside his previous confidence and started to gnaw at his trust. His own feeling of arousal died, murdered suddenly before it had a chance to truly blossom, and he felt his erection start to soften. He’d been so close too...

Eiji seemed to sense his unease. Even if he was too far gone to be truly empathetic to his feelings right now, he had certainly felt him stop moving on top of him.

“A…Ash…?” His eyes were no longer blank. The pupils were still blown wide, and his body still quivered uncontrollably as he edged orgasm, but he seemed to be fighting the hormones raging through him to do one last welfare check on his boyfriend. Ash started to rock and gyrate slowly again, no longer feeling it, but knowing the motions.

“I’ll bring you to completion, it’s fine.”

“N…no Ash. Stop!” Eiji tapped him feebly with his hand and he halted again. “Please. I… I cannot…”

“Eiji…?”

“S…something changed,” Eiji told him. He panted, still sheathed deep inside his ass, Ash feeling him twitching with convulsions of physical excitement. Emotionally, however, Eiji was no longer in the zone. His eyes had that doe-eyed sadness to them they got when he felt guilty or apologetic. “I saw it. Th…the mood change. Y…you suddenly stop enjoying self and… I do not want… if you not having good time too…”

**_‘…Fuck.’_ **

“I’m sorry…” Ash said, voice little more than a whisper, a lump forming in his throat as the harsh burn of the threat of tears assaulted his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Eiji…” He pulled himself up and off his boyfriend, Eiji whimpering a final time at the friction. He was too far gone to go back now, his erection proving painful without release, so Eiji rolled onto his side underneath Ash once he was free, curling into himself and reaching down with his own hand to tug once, twice, bringing himself to orgasm with just a light touch and a heavy shudder as he came into the condom, panting at the relief as the tension faded but receiving no joy from it. He lay there for a while, getting his breath back, eyes half lidded as he collected his scattered thoughts back together. Ash, meanwhile, climbed off him and found his underpants among the mixed pile of garments on the floor, pulling them on while shaking before sitting himself down heavily on the edge of the bed, holding his forehead in one of his hands, eyes closed.

Eiji eventually stirred after a few minutes rest, sitting upright shakily with Ash being his immediate concern.

“Ash…?”

“I did it again,” Ash said, his voice cracking.

“What?”

“I ruined your first time.”

“Ash, no…”

“I stole your first kiss without even thinking twice, I’m your first proper relationship but you didn’t even realise it until a couple of days ago, and now _this!_ Jesus Christ, why am I like this? Why is it so fucking hard to get this _right?_ ”

“Ash please…”

“I’m a mess, Eiji,” Ash sobbed, looking up at him with emerald eyes bright and shiny with sorrow. “I don’t think I’ll ever be right, and I’m just dragging you down with me!”

“Ash…!”

“I’m sorry, Eiji!”

“You need stop apologising! That is for Japanese to do, remember?” Eiji chided him. Still wearing nothing but a pair of socks, he settled for pulling the sheet from the bed around himself before sidling closer to kneel next to him on the mattress. “You had very traumatic life before meet me. Even while I be here, very scary sometimes, but I can only imagine what you feel. I was not there. I wish I had been, maybe thing be different, then again maybe not. You have dealings with many not very nice people… It not your fault.”

“Still, I thought I was past that!” Ash said sadly. “I thought… maybe… I was ready. I really thought I was!”

“I know.”

“The things I said weren’t a lie, honest! Please don’t think that I… I said them just to… to lure you here, or something!”

“Why I think that?” Eiji said, smiling kindly. “Whole time you kept asking me if I okay, respecting my request. If you just in it for sex or for self, I do not think you would do that.”

“I just have to go and ruin everything,” Ash growled, mostly at himself. “There’s this little voice in my head and it reminds me of all these negative things, and it made me doubt myself… It made me… Oh God, Eiji – for a second, it made me doubt _you!_ ”

“Is that why you…?”

“I’m sorry! That I even thought something like that is… The fuck is wrong with me?!”

“Many thing,” Eiji said wisely. “But also nothing.”

“I can’t even have sex with the person I love…”

“Not being able to have sex not end of world, Ash,” Eiji shrugged. “It may just be nerves or because first time but, if being honest, during whole time… I think I liked the kissing most, and just being close to you.” He blushed demurely admitting that, raising a hand to lightly touch his lips with his fingertips. “There too much… sensation… when you were… ano... I not sure if I really like it or not. Maybe I just not used to it, it being first time, got a little over-stimulated, or maybe I supposed to be… eto… my sister would call them ‘uke’, I think? But just because it did not go so well this time, first time does not have to mean only time! We can try again, and just see what we like and not like. And we not have to do it all the way if you not want. Sex is give and take and finding what works best. I want both of us to feel good. I think… maybe… mutual masturbation could be fun? Build things up slowly until we figure it out.”

Ash stared at him with a weird expression, like Eiji was speaking to him in a foreign language, neither English nor Japanese. Ignoring that he somehow knew the term 'mutual masturbation' while sometimes still struggling to remember the English word for 'salt' at the dinner table (Ash assumed he'd learnt it from one of his guys, or else those chick-lits were raunchier than he thought), _never_ had anyone spoken to him with such kindness and understanding when it came to sex. All anyone ever seemed to want from him was penetration and for him to be a good lay. Even listening to normal people talk about girls, like Shorter and Alex when they got deep into locker-room talk, all they seemed to care about was getting a leg over and balls deep in pussy. He felt sorry for women in that respect. That Eiji instantly forgave him for failing and suggested they try again at a later date without fucking being the whole point… it was just so sweet and heart-warming, he found himself wondering what he’d done to deserve someone so wonderful to him.

“Eiji I-“

“Do not apologise again,” Eiji shushed him. He leaned over and softly tucked a loose portion of Ash’s blonde hair back behind his ear so he could better see his face, before gently running a thumb under his eye to wipe away the lone tear there before pulling away. It was a very tender and sweet gesture, feather-light, but meaningful. “First time may be important, but I think many people have bad or disappointing first time. Mine at least better than yours! I learn many thing today, about what is good and what to do. I know nipple sensitive! Next time be better, I think.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re even human,” Ash told him. “It’s not natural for someone to be that… compassionate. Seriously, are you actually an alien?”

“Japan may be long way away, but it is on Earth,” Eiji assured him, smiling cutely.

“That’s reassuring to know,” Ash said, his confidence and good mood slowly returning as Eiji’s kindness stamped his intrusive thoughts back into the darkness from whence they came.

“I think I may need shower,” Eiji said contemplatively, changing the subject. “I did not realise sex be so…”

“Disgusting?” Ash asked.

“Physical,” Eiji corrected him. “I very sweaty and gross now. Feel like just run a mile.”

Ash snorted slightly, smiling genuinely. “Yeah, it be like that sometimes,” he murmured.

“Ick. How about, we both get clean, and after I change sheet of bed again, we make hot cocoa and watch movie?” Eiji suggested. That generally meant sharing the couch with an optional blanket for warmth. Previously, they would have just sat together, maybe just barely touching, or one of them dozing off and leaning into the other accidentally as they fell asleep, but things had changed now. Physical touch, especially affection, was no longer taboo, hidden behind a barrier of machismo and trauma. What Eiji was suggesting, without voicing it out loud, is that they should snuggle.

“Sometimes, you have the best ideas,” Ash said.

“Really? I thought you smart one,” Eiji teased him, nudging him lightly with his shoulder.

“Sometimes smart people can be incredibly dense,” Ash admitted.

<”I love you,”> Eiji whispered in Japanese fondly. <”Flaws and all.”>

“What?”

“Nothing,” he said, disentangling himself from the sheet. He was still wearing nothing but the comical socks, condom full of spunk still limply encapsulating his now flaccid penis with wrinkled latex, but Ash couldn’t help but think that this absolute God of a man was the most amazing, beautiful, perfect and undeserved being he had ever laid eyes on or had the privilege of knowing. “I go shower now. We have rest of evening to enjoy, so let us not waste another minute!”

**Author's Note:**

> The sternocleidomastoids: a prominent pair of neck muscles that run from just behind the jaw joint by the ear to the sternum at the top of the chest. On some people, it sticks out a bit when you turn your head or look up. A very biteable bit of the neck 😏
> 
> Also, a fun long word. An ideal candidate for word of the day!


End file.
